The DC Essigs

Christmas is so much more fun with a baby. Of course Eva was more interested in playing with the wrapping paper than with the presents.

Because Christmas was on Sunday we were able to really enjoy and celebrate a more relaxed Christmas. Our usual schedule was mixed up to allow everyone to go to church, so Lincoln and I enjoyed spending some quality time with the Abeggs, then with the younger Essig children while they all opened presents.

Later in the day everyone got together to talk to the missionaries. We spoke with Elder Abegg in New Zealand over the phone, then went to the Essig's and skyped Elder Essig in Peru and Sister Essig in California.

Then we went to Grandma Holder's house for the annual Christmas Dinner

We made sure to snap a 4 Generations photo.

It was a great Christmas!

The last six months have been a whirlwind. They have been the hardest, yet most enjoyable months of my life.

The decision that a mother makes as to whether or not to go back to work is incredibly personal. Every situation is so different. Each mother has such a unique set of circumstances that are specific to them in making that choice. This is the story of my decision....

After much thought and consideration Lincoln and I decided that I would go back to work. I loved my job--and the extra money was definitely helpful for those student loan debts. I wasn't sure how long I would be back, but I knew that I personally needed to go back to work.

Going back at first was so hard. I had my good days and bad days. I typically survived on about 5 hours of sleep a night—but I was so impressed at how my body adjusted. My typical day looked like this:

4:45am wake up to eva crying, feed her in bed

5:30 am get ready to teach my pilates class (on days that Eva sleeps in, I wake up at 5am to pump)

6-7am teach pilates

7-8am feed eva, get her ready, take a shower, get ready myself. (on good days, I have Lincoln to help me. On bad days, he goes into work early or is out of town and I am on my own)

8:15 leave the house to drop off Eva at the sitter’s house---which is in Shirlington, a 15 minute drive in the opposite direction of my work. (my 20 minute commute turned into a 45-50 minute commute… kill me now)

8:30-9 fight traffic. And I literally mean FIGHT traffic.

9am arrive and work. Shift geers from Mommy to Communications Director

9-6 read the news, schedule press interviews, attend luncheon briefings, banter with co-workers, go with my boss to TV interviews, write press releases, attend press meetings, attend staff meetings and stay on top of my emails.

10am Pump for 20mins (it takes about 5 minutes to get to the lactation room from my office—I am away from the office for a total of 30 mins)

1pm Pump again

4pm pump again

6pm get off work

6:15-6:45 fight traffic… again…. Oh I hate driving all the way to Shirlington

If it is Wednesday night I have Young Womens at 7pm

Get home from Young Womens at 8:30pm

8:30-10:30: enjoy my baby and Lincoln for 2 hours

wait, did I eat dinner? I am sure I snacked on something somewhere in between…

11:00 Eva goes to bed.

11:30 Lincoln and I go to bed

Start over everything again.

Now granted, this is usually what it is like at it’s worst. Sometimes Lincoln would drop off eva (about once every other week) Sometimes my sitter would pick up or drop off eva (about once a week) I only teach pilates on Tuesdays and Thursdays etc. And that doesn’t even mention Saturdays where I teach pilates for three hours in the mornings, or our crazy Sundays where Lincoln and I both have a lot on our plate for our church responsibilities. But you get the picture.

The first couple of months, I had a really hard time. I missed eva so much at work. I felt like my priorities and passions had changed. I couldn't be 100% at work (especially because I had to step away every 3 hours to pump), and I couldn't be 100% at home, but I did my best. I got into the routine of things, and I started to really enjoy the craziness of this life.

Then my co-worker was killed in a car accident.

The next morning after I found out about my coworkers death, I broke down. She was an employee who worked out of the Utah office… I had just spent the last trip to Utah with her. I remember her talking about her family so much as I sat with her on our visits to the rural businesses…

Nothing seemed to matter that day except for family. I was exhausted from the day before. I just wanted to stay home with Eva---but that was a day that Lincoln had to take eva at 7am to the sitter’s house, and I had to be at work early to send out a statement from the Congressman about her death.

When Lincoln got back, I broke down. I told him I couldn’t do this anymore. It was just too hard. And Lincoln and I decided that we would give it just a couple more months.

When the time came, I was so scared to put in my two weeks notice at work, because that would make everything so final. I was just telling Lincoln about how I was breaking down when my friend from high school Erin Trump called me. I told her what I was feeling and she said, "I know that I have no idea what you are going through because I have never worked with my kids---But I want you to know that I am here for you." We chatted for a while and I told her what I was just thinking. She told me how hard and yet rewarding it is to be a stay at home mom with her three kids. I really needed to hear that and I am grateful for thoughtful friends, who despite the physical distance, are still there for you when you need them.

That next Monday I was incredibly nervous. But after talking to my Chief of Staff and the Congressman, I was incredibly relieved, and surprised. I had been so nervous about the decision, that I didn't even think about what the reaction would be. Both my COS and the Congressman had the sweetest, most thoughtful and kind words to say about how much I will be missed, but yet how impressed they were with my decision to spend more time with my daughter.

When it came time to email all my media contacts and colleagues about my moving on, I was overwhelmed with the kindness of what others had to say about the past couple of years working with them.

It was like being alive for my own funeral. One of the most rewarding experiences of my life, to hear how I will be missed and how much I was appreciated.

Since I quit my big girl job, I am actually surprised at how I have never looked back. I keep myself busy by teaching 10-15 hours of pilates a week. And I am shocked at how easy it is to fill my time with playgroups, errands, service, naps, and cooking. How did I ever have time for a full time job?!

The biggest surprise was how rewarding and fulfilling it is so hang out with my little buddy Eva all day. She is my best friend, and she has turned into such a mommy's girl. And as you could imagine, my marriage is a lot happier. Not as much stress, and not so much going on has helped calm my nerves and helped me be a sweeter wife.

And I am sincerely happy.