Missing My Baby

It has been a crazy couple of weeks. Soon after our trip back to Utah, one of our co-workers was killed in a car accident. My grandma's and uncle's death were expected and I was not surprised. However, when Sherri died I was in complete shock. In one instant she was gone. I know that there is a higher purpose in her passing. She was such a sweet and loving lady. The last time I saw her she made sure to give me a hug and thank me. I learned a lot from her. We all miss her in the office.

The day I found out about the tragic accident I had a really hard time. I broke down that morning. Life just felt overwhelming and all I wanted to do was hold my baby instead of dropping her off at the sitter's house. I miss her a lot during the day at work.

But my other co-worker taught me a good lesson. She reminded me that it is good to miss your baby. It is good to miss loved ones when we are away. It just reminds you how much you love them.

While there are many benefits of going back to work, I was actually surprised at how hard it would be. I miss my baby a lot. It is getting easier with time, but it is amazing how much that little ball of joy changes your life and your priorities.

It's all about the water table

Yes, these were the huge waves that overtook Rehobeth Beach on Labor Day weekend. The Bessey, Essig, and Bowen families made a trek up to Rehobeth for a little relaxation before the summer ended. We had planned a day full of chatting and reading but this was not to be.

We got there early in the morning and found a great spot near the water. However, by late morning the water started to moving closer to our place in the sand. We realized that if we wanted to stay in that same spot we would have to protect our area with walls and motes. We knew that we would have to maintain this until high tide, a few hours away.

As we built up trenches all around our spot we realized that we would need to make a little island for ourselves since the water was going around our sides and to he back of us. We worked for hours to protect out little spot and had much support from fellow misplaced beach guests. Our motto was Never Give Up, Never Surrender.

Eva slept through the whole thing...

After the water started to fill up all around our island oasis, we knew that we were soon in trouble. Ryan kept preaching, it is all about the water table. If the water table rises, then we would not be able to maintain dry sand. Alas, it was all about the water table. Ryan and Trent worked hard to try to make a canal but it was to no avail. The ocean had won and we gave up and went to lunch.

The beach is always a fun adventure with this group. We are blessed to have friends that know how to laugh and have kept a childlike exuberance for life.

Pumping at the dairy farm

I have been back at work for over a month now. Being a mother who is nursing and working has its own set of challenges. But nothing could quite prepare me for my work trip to Utah. We had a "rural day" where we drove 6+ hours to visit some of the major industries in the district. We went to a dairy farm, pig farm and a power plant. It was incredibly informative, but it sure did create some awkward situations. I had to pump every three hours... Yet, the trip was packed full of meetings and long hours in the car. I had no other choice but to pump where I could... So, I pumped at the dairy farm in the bathroom (totally ironic), three times in the back of the van with all of my co-workers (SUPER awkward--but I did wear a hooter hider), once in the Richfield County building bathroom, and once on the drive home--while I was driving.

I did manage to take some pictures during the long drive (when I wasn't pumping :). But I don't need the pictures to remember that trip. Definitely an unforgettable experience..

The Funerals

I am my grandmother's grandaughter.

I LOVE jewelry. I love makeup. I love to get all done up. I have since I was a child. My mother would tell me that is was the Grandma Abegg gene. She was one classy lady. Always done up to the T. As she would say, "If you spend the time to get ready in the morning, then when you go out you can focus completely on other other people."

My grandma Abegg has been there for many turning points in my life.

When I kissed a boy for the first time at age 15---she had a talking to me! She said that grandpa fell for her because she wasn't easy, she wouldn't even let him hold her hand on their first date. I needed to give the boys a challenge and not let just anyone kiss me!

Years later when I was debating on whether I should go on a mission or keep dating a boy who didn't want me to go, she sat me down and showed me her letters to grandpa from the war. She told me about when she wrote him and said that she wanted to go on a mission. His response was that he supported her, even if it meant waiting that much longer before they could get married. She told me, "if it is right, he will wait." And boy am I glad I went. Because it wasn't right, and he didn't wait. But I found someone even better for me.

Then on my mission she would send me dollar bills and letters of encouragement, reminding me of the king that I would marry someday. The king that would be fit to treat me like a queen.

When she met Lincoln she fell in love with him too. We all knew he was the right fit.

Grandma's funeral was very emotional. It is hard to sum up ones life within a couple of talks.

She loved my grandpa so much. And when he died she missed him dearly. When talking about how she was handling the loneliness from his passing, she used to say, "I can't go over it, and I can't go around it, so I just have to go through it." At her funeral, the letters from the war were displayed on a table. I sat down and read through a couple of them. Grandpa mentioned how he missed her so much he just wanted to squeeze her and give her the biggest hug imaginable when he came back from the war. I couldn't help but imagine how tender their sweet reunion was in heaven, and how hard he squeezed and hugged her.

Grandma was known for her religious advice. She always was "preaching" to her prosperity. We loved her for it, and no one could deny her testimony of the scriptures and the Savior.

The highlight of the funerals was that they were one part funeral and one part family reunion. I had SO MUCH FUN seeing all my cousins! It has been over 20 years since all of us got together.

All the cousins

My dad with his brothers and sisters

My uncle also passed away earlier that week from colon cancer. He died one day before my grandma did. His funeral was so sweet and I was very impressed with how much he cared about his wife and family. He was an honest man who worked hard.

Last Christmas, I went up to see Scott with my family. He was so sweet and kind when asking about how things were going in my life. He will be dearly missed.

His daughter, (my cousin) Michelle Money worked with Graham Bunn and his company 46NYC to make a shirt in Scott's name. If you purchase your own 46 Scott Cartwright Blue Ribbon Tee, $6 will go to The Christ 4 Life Colon Cancer Foundation. www.46nyc.com

Is it crazy to say that the funerals were the highlight of my last trip to Utah? It is just so nice to be with family, honoring those you love.

Eva's Blessing Day

The day was lovely, and the blessing was so sweet. Among many things, little Eva was blessed with charity, obedience, kindness, and to be an example to her family. It was definitely one of those moments when I officially felt like a mother. She even wore the dress that I was blessed in as a baby. When my mother in law put it on her and then showed Eva to me, I let out a little scream... she looked just like the pictures of me as a baby in that very same dress.

It was a very special day. We were so grateful to have Lincoln's parents there with us. We wish that more family could have been there. But, thank goodness for good friends who were there for us when family could not.