The talk I gave at my dad's funeral

We learn in the proclamation to the family that, “The family is central to the creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of his children…By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness.”  The word preside means to 1. lead  2. guide and 3. to take responsibility for the family’s welfare.

When I think of my dad and how he led our family I think of cars. My dad loved cars, and he knew how to drive them. When the family was in the car he was always the driver.  But my dad wasn’t just any old driver. He knew the importance of having fun. After a fresh snowfall my dad would often take us kids in the car and do brodies in the church parking lot. As a kid we thought it was incredibly fun to fly in the car in circles. We felt completely safe when he was driving. We trusted him 100%.

Just like being a driver in the car, my dad led our family throughout his life. He knew how to have fun and we were always laughing in our home, but we also could trust him 100%.  One time when I was a teenager I had been really sick with a bad cold. I had stayed up all night coughing and couldn’t sleep at all. I finally felt like asking my dad for a blessing. I went upstairs, woke him up and he was more than happy to serve me. He gave me a sweet blessing that night. I can’t remember what he said, but all I could remember was how much love I felt for my dad that night, that he was worthy to bless me. That I could trust him 100%. And the miracle was that as soon as it was over I went back downstairs and instantly feel asleep trough the night.

My dad guided our family by teaching us. My dad taught me how to drive. When I was 15 and had my learners permit he took me on the freeway. I was terrified. But he taught me how to pay attention to the other cars around me, and to always look in the rear view mirror as well as to glance behind me while I shifted lanes. Then my dad took me to drive up the Cannon. I was even more terrified. We were going fast and I had to twist and turn the car with the curvy roads. I was encroaching on the lane to oncoming traffic when a huge truck came down my way, I quickly turned the wheel in the other direction and over corrected. I thought for sure we would crash when my dad quickly grabbed the wheel and kept the car under control.

Just like teaching me how to drive, my dad helped guide me to correct decisions.

Right before I left on my mission I had been dating a boy pretty seriously and didn’t feel right about marrying him. I wanted to serve a mission but one day I was struggling with the decision. I was at the University of Utah, near tears as I was thinking about my future felling a little confused about my emotions. Then my dad called me. He said that he had been thinking about me and that he got such a strong impression that I needed to serve a mission because there were specific people that were waiting for me there and what only I could give. It was exactly what I needed at the moment. And it helped me make my decision. When I returned home and talked about all the converts he would just say, “See I told you, they needed what only you could give.” And he was right.

My dad was not only a good driver, but he was also good at fixing cars. Sometimes it took a lot of work to make them run smoothly.  One of the last acts of service he performed was to make sure that my mom’s car was fixed and filled with gas. Just like it was very important for the cars to run smoothly, my dad worked incredibly hard his whole life so that my mom could stay home and help the house run smoothly. There were times in my life when my dad worked up to four jobs, and still just barely made it by.  He took it very seriously to provide for the welfare of my family. In fact the day that my dad died he was mentioning that after going target shooting he needed to get new tires for his truck, my mom said, “it doesn’t sound like you are going to go back to work.” He replied, “Oh you better believe I am going to go back to work.” With all the shock of my dads passing those last words still ring true. More than anything we believe that my dad is still working hard for his family on the other side.

When I think about what I am going to miss most about my dad I think it will be all the rides in the car. When I was younger he used to drop me off at school. He would always sing along to the radio and tap on the steering wheel like it was a drum set, or he would turn on Paul Harvey and wait to hear the “rest of the story.” My dad would give me a ride anywhere at any time and he was always happy to help.  I am really going to miss him picking me up from the airport. For the last 4 years my dad and I had some incredible one on one time. After updating each other on the family, he would really open up to me. He commonly told me how much he loved my mom and wanted to be a better husband. He shared his struggles with me and his faith that the family would make it though.  He would tell me all about the books he was reading. He recently read the entire standard works. He would wake up early everyday and read for hours. On our drives from the airport he always gave me an update on his scripture reading and tell me the lessons he was learning from the stories in the scriptures. He found a deeper love of the gospel through his morning studies, and an increased understanding of the atonement. I firmly believe that my dad was being prepared.

The family is the most important organization in time and eternity. The proclamation to the family explains, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness.” In our home, my dad presided over our family by leading, guiding and taking responsibility for our welfare. He led not just by driving us where we needed to go, but by leading us by being a worthy priesthood holder. He not only taught us to drive, but he taught us true principles and guided our family through inspiration. Fixing cars and anything else that broke down in our home was important to him, just as it was important to work hard everyday to provide for our welfare.

My dad was an incredible man, a good father, a kind friend, and a man you always could laugh and joke with. With him gone there is a whole in my life now that will never be filled. But I am left feeling incredibly lucky that I had him in my life for as long as I did to preside over our family in love and righteousness.